bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
