Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
