Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
