What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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