worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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