So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
