tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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