YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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