she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
