the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
