YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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