Define "chronic" masturbator.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
