I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
