drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
