I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize