i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
