we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
NoShamevember. You game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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