I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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