Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
