But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Randomize
