i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think people are normalizing furries
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
