I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
