do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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