No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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