You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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