alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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