I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
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i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
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