Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
