Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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