you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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