It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
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Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
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Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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