Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
