apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
