Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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