Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
