Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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