Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize