my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
