So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i out mim tonsoeep
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