I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
