I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
