my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
