Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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