Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
