And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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