We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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