I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
