I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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