who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
