Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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