1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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