his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Acid is not a monday night drug
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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