I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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