hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
