remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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