I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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