you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
