i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
