Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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