I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize