The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
