never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize